I have a disease, to which there is no cure. I am totally and completely unable to cry at movies. Not kidding. The most I’ve ever been able to shed is a single tear and even then I’m pretty sure my eye was just watering. I go through all the motions of a person who is sad or affected by something. I stare off into space for an hour thinking about every decision I’ve ever made that led me to that point, ravage through my pantry nervously eating snacks, and send novel-length text messages to my friends even if they’ve never seen the film. At first glance, you’d think I was an emotionless beast! However,  there have been a couple of movies that have almost made my rocky hard exterior crack…

A Walk To Remember (2002)

Mandy Moore and Shane West (ugh heartthrob) star in the movie version of Nicholas Sparks A Walk To Remember. Mandy Moore is the shy girl next door with the angelic voice and Shane West is the rough bad boy with a secret heart of gold. The life shattering catch? Turns out Mandy has cancer and a very short time left to live. Nicholas… you and I have a BONE to pick. I mean come on man? You have put your characters through cancer, amnesia, murder, war. I’m pretty sure you are the reason for the success of Kleenex and Ben & Jerry’s. The final line of the film? “Our love is like the wind. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.” BYE.

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

When I tell you this movie sent me into a week-long spiral, I really, really mean it. Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet playing unexpected, summer lovers set in the Italian countryside during the 1980’s rocked my entire world. Remember that single tear I shed earlier? The one where I wasn’t sure if my eye was watering or if I was on the cusp of a breakdown? Yeah this movie is the cause. When I watched it, I went through a strange nirvana like awakening where I felt as though I finally understood everything there was to know about like and love. I probably sounded like a cult leader the way that I was explaining my rants and ideas to the people around me. I was one more Snapchat away from my friends getting me baker acted when I finally got it together. I worry for the day when I’m doing homework and decide to just “turn it on for background noise”. 

5 Feet Apart (2019)

Here is the deal with this movie. You know from the get go that it is going to be inherently depressing. Two cystic fibrosis patients are forbidden from ever touching because the disease could allow for them to get each other even more sick. Tension, forbidden romance, illness, disturbingly attractive people. A recipe for sadness! Haley Lu Richardson and Cole Sprouse almost got me with this one. What held me back? When I look at Cole Sprouse, I see Jughead Jones and can’t help but think of the laughable train wreck that is Riverdale. 

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

I saw this movie when I was about 12 or 13 years old. Was I too young? Maybe. Am I glad I saw it when I did? Absolutely. It’s complex, heartbreaking, layered, and beautiful all at once. I’ve grown up in a liberal, open-minded family, and it’s something I’m thankful for everyday. This movie pioneered LGBTQ+ representation in the media. However, I never saw it as a gay love story. I just saw it as a love story. A relationship between two people that had trouble understanding and accepting themselves but at the center of it all just loved each other a lot. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal (I know he’s controversial right now. Swifties don’t attack me) have cemented themselves in history not only for me, but pop culture as a whole. I’m about to tear up just writing this… Maybe I do have a heart! 

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015)

Dave adopts Alvin, Theodore, and Simon. That’s all I remember, and it’s the only thing that matters. Instant tearjerker. 

There is no rhyme or reason to what almost breaks me and what doesn’t. Movies that people have uncontrollably sobbed at, I’ve responded by rolling my eyes in confusion. But hopefully I’ve been able to properly convey my passion for movies through this piece. I think that’s a common misconception. That if you aren’t showing copious amounts of emotion you just don’t care. But oh trust me. I could talk about each of these movies for hours, but I shall spare you. If you see a common theme between these then please let me know what it is. Lord only knows I’m in an effort to understand my complicated, weird, and confusing brain more and more each day.